I use a computer for work now. Lots of typing. A little of that typing is structured, like writing notes for a customer or whatnot, but a lot of it is short bursts in different fields that require mouse clicks to get to. Turns out this is tricky for me.

I’m not the best type out there; maybe I could pull 35 wpm on a good day. And part of that will be getting into the flow. You know, sentence two or three really gets the speed going. Finding the keys to start is not a strength of mine. Combine that with having to take one hand away from the keyboard to click a mouse or such, and I slow down.

Not really a big deal, it’ll get smoother as my brain starts to shorthand the procedures and there is more comfort, but for now I feel like I”m herky-jerky, stop-and-go all day long. This does not do much for my comfort level on the learning curve, as well as my internal self-evaluation.

I started this job at a time when our customer communication caseload is quite high. There is about a week’s backlog of emails to respond to, as well as higher phone call volume that reduces the time available to respond to and research email concerns. So, in my head, it’s a numbers game right now. How many X can you do in a day?

Right now, of course, my count is low. Just how low, I have no idea. There has been no discussion on metrics at this point, and it’s not really clear to me that anyone has an idea of what my production should be or even if it should be. Internally, though, I’m slacking, and in my head, this typing thing is not helping.

If you read yesterday’s blurb, you know that what this really equates to is that I’m on the failing side of pass/fail in six days at the new job. I’m trying hard to fight this notion, but it’s years and years of damaging self-talk to overcome.

Yes, I looked for new jobs today.

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