Welcome back to my series on alexithymia. Do I have it or not? On today’s episode, we are going to cover the symptomatic criteria of “difficulties identifying feelings and emotions.”
The first bit of evidence that I struggle with this is that I really don’t understand how these two are different from each other. I’ve been using language model AI for a lot of question answering lately, so I’m looking to it to help me here. Here’s what I’m being told.
- Emotions:
- Emotions are real-time data sparked by sensations in the body.
- They are biological responses triggered by external events or internal stimuli.
- For example, feeling fear, anger, or joy in response to specific situations.
- Emotions are like the engine of a car, providing raw information about our current state.
- Feelings:
- Feelings are influenced by emotions but are generated from our mental thoughts.
- They are the conscious evaluation or appraisal of what we are experiencing.
- Feelings can be biased and altered by our mental misconceptions.
- For instance, when you notice discomfort at a party (emotional, bodily sensations), your mind might label it as feeling awkward due to social reasons. Another person with the same sensations might label it as exciting because they enjoy meeting new people.
- Feelings are like the frame of a car, shaped by our mental interpretations.
My initial response to these definitions is that had I been forced to explain emotions and feelings, I would have likely defined them as the opposite, meaning I’d have explained emotions as feelings and feelings as emotions. I’d say that qualifies as having a hard time identifying them.
But based upon these criteria, emotions would seem to be based on instinct. Fear I get. A grizzly bear comes charging down the trail at you, you’re gonna feel fear. The last time I think I felt this was back in 2015. Nora and I were on vacation, sponsored by her employer, at a resort in Arizona. As part of the package, we were able to take part in some excursions/activities.
One of them that we did was pole climbing. We were harnessed up and then would climb a pole with the goal being to get to the top and then pull ourselves up to stand on the plate mounted atop. I don’t recall how tall the pole was, but I’d guess it was thirty(?) feet. And while it was completely safe, I couldn’t get past the fear of falling while trying to get the last bit on top of the plate. Nora did it, though. Because she is an absolute Rockstar!
But since that time, I’m not sure I can recall feeling fear. And this includes going skydiving in 2022 with my Mo.
Anger and joy? I don’t experience these things. Is impatience an emotion? I experience that from time to time when out and about.
What about feelings, though? I’ve been asked by different therapists to try to start identifying feelings by working on the basics. I don’t know how to do that. Generally speaking, I feel the same all the time. I dated a woman back in college who described me as being “Just Jp.” Meaning that when she would try to describe me to her friends, she couldn’t really put me into any categories or say that I was like this or that. She would say that I am just Jp. That’s how I am day after day. Just Jp. I’m this blob of humanity that just exists.
Sure, I get tired, sleepy, achy, hungry, and such, but those aren’t really feelings, are they? Aren’t they somehow just related to lacking fundamental needs? I don’t know.
So, let’s sum up here. I can recall feeling fear once in the past decade. As I mentioned in the initial post, I’ve recently had a period of significant anxiety over a personal issue as well. So maybe two emotifeelings in recent memory? Not so impressive.
What are the three emotifeelings you experience the most?