Is it nostalgia? It might be nostalgia. I mean, let’s be honest: the Star Wars movies were not actually that great once you factor in the special effects. And we pretty much do that now, looking back at the first trilogy. At the time, they were amazing. But the script, acting, and plot holes are just too much to take anymore. So, really, it has to be nostalgia that props the movies up.
That’s not really what this post is about, though. We’ve gathered today to talk about symptom two in the internet-generated list for alexithymia and if it applies to me. Let’s dig in, shall we?
“problems distinguishing between emotions and bodily sensations that relate to those emotions“
This is an easy one. As we discussed yesterday, I don’t really have a firm grasp on what emotions are or how they work. So, at the highest level, it’s safe to say I struggle with this distinction. I’m not even sure I understand what this means. Is it that when someone is scared, they have corresponding physical sensations related to that fear?
And I suspect everything is on a continuum. I think I understand adrenaline and how it revs up the body. But there are probably variations in levels for different experiences. Excited vs fearful, say.
I’m aware at different times I feel like my insides are revved up, like my pulse is quickened or my heart is beating harder. But I’m not able to correlate these with any events, external or internal. No, “Oh crap!” thoughts or grizzly bears coming down the trail at me. No sense of an embarrassing situation, either. And when I check my pulse I see that it is just pumping along at its usual.
I’ve long said I eat my feelings, but I’ve adjusted that to be I eat to accomplish. When I have the sense that I should be doing something but can’t figure out what that something is, I’ve somehow associated eating with something. I’m not ready to fully dissect that statement, and this is the first time I’ve put it out into the world, so go easy on me.
I feel physical feels. But invariably, I associate these with physical events, overwork, old age, injury, etc.
What’s your favorite feeling?